Coming-out tips
How to Be Yourself – and How Parents Can Offer Support
Coming out is a personal journey. For some, it goes smoothly; for others, it’s a challenging process full of questions and uncertainty. Whether you’re coming out as transgender, non-binary, lesbian, gay, bi+, or queer — your story matters.
In this blog, you’ll find tips for people who want to come out as their authentic selves, as well as for parents who want to offer support.
Coming Out Tips
1. You set the pace
There’s no such thing as perfect timing. You’re allowed to wait. You’re allowed to take it slow. And you get to choose who you tell, and when. This is your story.
2. Write down your thoughts
Sometimes it’s easier to express your feelings on paper. You can write a letter, send a message, or even record a voice memo.
3. Find safe people
Start with someone who truly feels safe — a friend, a teacher, a family member. A positive first reaction can make a big difference to your confidence.
4. Be prepared for different reactions
Some people might need time — and that says nothing about you! Give them space to grow, but protect your own energy in the meantime.
5. You don’t have to answer every question
It’s totally okay to say, “I’m not sure yet,” or “I’d rather talk about that later.” Your boundaries matter.
Tips for Parents (and Other Loved Ones)
1. Listen without judgment
The most important thing you can do? Just listen. Without jumping in to respond, without trying to fix it. Simply… listen.
2. Say you love them
It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly powerful. Say the words: “I love you just as you are.” Those words can change someone’s entire world.
3. Learn alongside them
Google terms you don’t understand. Read about gender diversity. If you’re unsure, gently ask what name or pronouns your child prefers – and respect that.
4. Make space for emotions
It’s okay to feel shocked, sad, or concerned – but keep those emotions separate from the support you offer. Talk to other parents if you need support, so your child doesn’t have to carry your feelings.
5. Show your support actively
Use the correct name and pronouns, speak up when someone says something hurtful, or gift them a pronoun pin. Small actions, big impact.
In this episode of her podcast ‘Hero in Your Own Story’, Iris Enthoven talks with Solange Dekker – the first transgender woman in the Netherlands to win a Miss title!
Watch the coming out experience of Abigail Thorn – English actress.
Check out the story of YouTuber Jamie Raines, who came out as trans at 17.
In Conclusion
Coming out isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey — sometimes lifelong — of being yourself in a world that doesn’t always make space for that. But with loving support, it becomes a whole lot lighter.
Whether you’re coming out yourself or supporting someone who is: you are not alone. At TransUndeez, we believe in visibility, safety, and the freedom to be yourself — always.
Want to learn more about coming out?
Read the blog: “A Good Conversation with Kai”
or visit the Expreszo website.
